Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
