I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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