I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
