There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
