Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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