so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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