Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
