This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize