I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
vagina is talking i cant
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
