remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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