we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
