K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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