Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
