She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
