My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
