Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
