and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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