I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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