margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't make out with my wife yet
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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