I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
