i just google imaged poop.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
