I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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