Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
zippers are such a cool invention
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
