Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
