we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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