ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
