i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize