ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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