help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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