bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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