do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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