I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
