RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
