Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
