Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
