the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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