marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Of course I have a pirate flag
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
