She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
