Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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