i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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