Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
