I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
