He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she peed on how many people?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
