I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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