Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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