I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
