i don't like sucking hair
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
