My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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