Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
