new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
