so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
