I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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