Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
