sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
