we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
