i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
3 2 1 whiskey
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
