Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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