Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
