I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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