Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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